how old before child can choose what parent to live with

Frequently children may tell their parents where they would similar to reside and in some cases parents feel that their children are mature enough to make their own determination.

What Does the Police force Say?

A child cannot legally decide who they want to live with until the age of 16. However, this may extend to 17 or 18 if there is a child arrangement order in place that specifies where a child should live. It may be that equally a child gets older, the parents wish to discuss this with the kid however until they reach 16 (or older as set out in child system order), it is for the parents to decide together. In the absence of an agreement between the parents, the courtroom can make this conclusion.

The overriding consideration in family proceedings is the question of 'what is in the best interests of the child/children?'. When considering this question, the courtroom and other professionals are guided by the Welfare Checklist. The checklist addresses 7 key criteria:

  1. The attestable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in the low-cal of his historic period and agreement)
  2. The child's physical, emotional and educational needs
  3. The probable upshot on the child of whatsoever change in his or her circumstances
  4. The child's historic period, sex, background and whatever characteristics of which the court considered relevant
  5. Any harm which the child has suffered or is at take a chance of suffering
  6. How capable the parents are of coming together the child'southward needs
  7. The range of powers available to the court under the Children Act 1989 in the proceedings in question.

Coronavirus Legal Advice

In court proceedings, the court might decide it is necessary for the Children and Family unit Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) to prepare a detailed report about the children and the circumstances surrounding your example. When preparing this report, CAFCASS may decide it is advisable to speak to the kid or children.

CAFCASS officers are specially trained in doing this, then the conversation is approached carefully and in an age-appropriate mode. The children will be asked questions such as how they feel near the current arrangements and whether they would like to spend more or less time with either parent. Depending on the age of the child and their responses, the CAFCASS officer volition consider these views when they make recommendations for child arrangements to the court. Generally, the older the child is, the more weight their views will be given, although the other factors prepare out higher up are as important. It is incredibly rare for the child to speak to the Estimate or other lawyers and they will non be expected to come up to court.

Agreeing Child Arrangements Outside of Courtroom

Depending on the age of the child and the private circumstances, some parents may experience that it is suitable to discuss such matters with their child themselves. We recommend that parents approach this cautiously. Both parents should concord to have a conversation of this nature before it takes place and both parents should be present during the chat. We would too recommend that a 3rd party, such every bit a mediator or family counsellor, assists with this discussion.

Matters such as where a child should reside are of an adult nature. Therefore, in many cases, these conversations are not appropriate, especially for younger children or where the relationship between the parents is particularly fraught.

Parents need to be mindful that by giving the child some element of pick, they are asking that child to effectively choose betwixt parents. In some cases, children will experience torn which may lead them to tell both parents what they think that parent wants to hear. This tin can exist emotionally damaging and may result in conflicting letters existence given to the parents. This could ultimately create more confusion about where the child should live.

Practical Steps - What If We Cannot Hold?

If parents cannot agree, there are several options for parents to consider:

  • Mediation - Mediators human action as an independent third political party and assist facilitate discussions in a child-focused way. Ordinarily, these meetings would be physical contiguous meetings, even so many mediators are now using virtual calls to ensure that clients notwithstanding have admission to mediation services.
  • Lawyers - An experienced solicitor volition exist able to suggest you lot on the position regarding child arrangements and tin can help with discussions between the other parent and/or their solicitor.
  • Court - In the event that you are unable to reach an agreement between yourselves (or past utilising third parties where necessary) you may wish to make an application to the court for the court to decide. As discussed above, if it is considered appropriate, your child may be asked nearly who they want to live with during proceedings. Withal, this is not guaranteed. The determination of the court will be bounden, yet there may be opportunity for the club to amended in the future if appropriate.

VWV is a full service, professional police force firm and is unable to offer gratuitous legal advice at this time.


If you require specialist legal assistance and would like to discuss your case with a specialist, please contact Samantha Hickman in our Divorce & Family Law team on 07464 544828,or please consummate the form below.

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Source: https://www.vwv.co.uk/news-and-events/blog/divorce-family-law/when-can-a-child-decide

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